Eventually We Find Our Way.
Pairing: Narry, side Lilo
A/N: It’s done you guys. My baby is oVER.
Harry had spent a lot of time thinking about what he would say to Zayn if given the chance. He had mentally perfected what he would say and the monotonous tone he would use. Of course, he forgets all that and opts with “What the fuck were you thinking?!”
“I’m not calling to fight with you.” Zayn says quietly.
“We don’t have to. We never did. I just want you to answer one question. What were you thinking?”
“I was mad ok?” Zayn snaps. “I was really mad and I didn’t know all this was going to happen because of a stupid break up song!”
“Do you even know what’s happened to me?” Harry fumes.
“I’m not sure, I mean we were in Japan and-”
“I have to spend all day in the office, ‘carolers’ aka fans stand outside my house and sing your stupid song at me and every third person on the internet has called me some form of ‘slut’ and ‘manwhore’ or hacked into any social networking site I have. The paps are in my face every goddamn second.” Harry takes a second to compose himself before blowing up again. “And the video?! I just saw it and me and Lou had a big blow out-”
“You and Louis had a fight?”
The momentary change in subject has the guilt flooding back. “Yeah.”
“You guys, like, never fight. Ever. It’s kind of weird.”
“Things have changed.” Harry says, picking at his comforter. “He thinks I should take advantage of all this and I don’t want to.” He flops back onto the bed. “Why’d you have to do this to me?”
“I’m sorry Harry, I really, honestly am. But your life isn’t the isn’t the only one that got insane. I haven’t been home since, like, September!”
“That’s a lie.” Harry spits. “You just played the concert with The Wanted.”
“Like home home. I only saw my family for a few minutes.”
“Cry me a river.”
“Ok seriously? Do you think your life is the only one that’s got turned all upside down?”
That shut Harry up.
“I mean, it’s awesome,” Zayn starts, “but I’m so tired and everything’s so different. Not what I’m used to.”
“Different like how?” Harry feels a bit sympathetic even though he doesn’t want to.
(Reason #20 on the ‘cons’ list.)
“I totally get it now.” Zayn laughs and it makes Harry smile.
“I miss that. You calling me out.” He pauses. “Are you really dating that guy from the ice cream place?”
“You mean the one you just humiliated?”
“That’s the one.”
“Yeah I am.”
“Do you love him?” Zayn sounds a bit bitter.
“That’s really none of your business.”
A long silence ensues and suddenly Harry is so exhausted and done with the whole situation. “Why are you calling me now, Zayn? It’s been 8 months since we broke up and 4 since the song came out.”
“I want you to come to New York with me.”
That’s not even close to what Harry was expecting. “What?”
“Come to New York. We’re doing a big thing for MTV and it’d be really good if we made up there. They would fly you out and everything.”
“So you’re only asking me to come for the ratings?”
“No, no! I’d just really like you to be there. Have a familiar face besides my bandmates, y’know?”
Harry thinks about how he didn’t want Louis to leave after the song went #1. Thinking about Louis and the unresolved fight put a lump in his throat.
“I have to think about it.” Harry says finally. This would be live where he couldn’t be misquoted. It was getting more and more appealing. “Can I call you tomorrow and tell you?”
“Yeah, yeah that’s fine.”
“I’m going to go.” Harry is about to end the call but Zayn stops him.
“Wait!” Harry puts the phone back by his ear. “I miss you. Not like…I don’t want to date again, I just miss us hanging out and stuff. Like as friends.”
Between this and the fight with Louis, Harry was about to have an emotional breakdown. “I miss you too. And I’m really, really sorry I hurt you.”
“I’m sorry too.” Zayn sounds so sincere. Harry’s never heard him like this before. “I did a bunch of shit wrong.”
“You know this is the most in depth coversation we’ve ever had?” Harry asks, feeling a bit better.
“I know.” Zayn laughs. “Ironic.”
Harry talks to Niall over Skype that night but he doesn’t mention Zayn or the fight with Louis.
Niall: Worst video ever I swear to God
Harry: I know. I’m really sorry.
Niall: It’s ok. How are you?
Harry: I don’t want to talk about it.
Finally he just tells Niall he has to go eat dinner and goes to sleep.
By midnight, he gives up on the idea of sleeping and wanders downstairs. Robin is sitting on the couch, watching the History Channel, completely engulfed. Harry takes the seat next to him and waits about 10 minutes before speaking.
“Zayn called me today.” He tries to get a feel for the situation. His stepdad is cool and they talk, but never anything meaningful. Robin doesn’t look away from the TV but does lower the volume a bit.
“Yeah. He wants me to come to New York and do an interview.”
“Oh yeah?” Robin says again, lowering the volume even more.
“And the video for the song came out too and…” and suddenly Harry is telling him everything about the video and the fight and not telling Niall about Zayn and Robin just nods along letting Harry speak. “So I don’t know what to do.” He concludes.
“It sounds like you have to make some decisions.” Robin says.
“So make them.”
The next morning, Harry finds his parents in the kitchen and without thinking asks,
“How do you guys feel about going to New York?”
The only bad thing about this was telling Niall.
They were sitting in Harry’s car waiting for the traffic to clear. Niall is complaining about all the attention he’s been getting because of the video and Harry just blurts it out.
“Zayn called me last night.”
“As in ex-boyfriend Zayn?”
“Yeah.” Harry takes a deep breath. “He asked me to come to New York to do a live interview.”
“And you told him to go to hell, right?” Niall snorts, focusing his attention out of the window. Harry doesn’t say anything and it’s like the calm before the storm.
“I’m going. I’m leaving Friday morning with my mom.”
All the color drains from Niall’s face. “You’re going?”
“Yeah, I mean, this could settle everything right? It’s live, I can’t be misquoted. If the fans see us making up it could get everything to die down, y’know?” Harry doesn’t understand why Niall’s so worried.
“Do you seriously think going on MTV is going to get this to die down?” He laughs bitterly.
“Yes? If we’re not killing each other they won’t think I’m some cheating asshole who left Zayn for you!”
“You’re crazy.” Niall’s facing him now. “This isn’t going to get anything to die down.”
“Why do you have to be like this? I’m doing it for us!” Harry pulls the key out of the ignition because they’re not going anywhere any time soon.
“No, you’re doing it for you.”
“So what?! I finally have control over one thing in my goddamn life and you’re giving me shit for it!”
“Whatever Harry.” Niall says, shoving the text book he’d thrown onto the floor in his backpack.
“It’s just an interview Niall, not a major life decision!”
“It’s an interview,” Niall snaps, “with your ex-boyfriend.”
“You can’t tell me what to do.”
“Just shut up ok? People are staring!” Harry interrupts.
“People are always staring.” Niall growls in response.
“If this gets in the tabloids-”
“We’re arguing over your ex-boyfriend and all you care about is the tabloids.” Niall starts shoving things into his bag again.
“Where are you going?” Harry asks as Niall pulls the straps of his backpack onto his shoulders.
“Home. I’ll get a ride from someone. I just need to get out of here.” And then he slams the car door.
Harry’s not going to apologize for this fight. The one about Cher was totally his fault, but this was all Niall and he could call Harry.
But it’s not like the phone was ringing.
The day before the flight to New York, someone leaves Harry a shirt that says “I liked you before you sold out” and he puts his head onto his schoolwork and cries.
“You ready, Harry?” Anne asks, checking her seat belt for the 1258521th time.
He thinks of Niall’s words before he left. “Yeah. I just need to get out of here.”
When Harry and Anne get to MTV Studios the day after they arrived, an assistant is assigned to babysit him. She leads them to a dressing room that is away from “anything and everything” until it’s time for Harry to go on. Harry tries to relax, but he can’t because he’s about to be on national TV and the assistant’s walkie talkie is going off a million times a minute because Zayn has arrived. He wraps his fingers around his knees and squeezes until his knuckles are white.
After waiting a bit more, Harry starts getting antsy and gets up to find a bathroom. The assistant flings herself infront of the doorway, blocking him from exiting. Harry realizes the only reason she’s even there is to stop him from seeing Zayn before the interview.
At ten minutes ‘til air, Harry’s taken to a waiting room close to the stage. He can see Zayn and the band getting interviewed on the monitors hanging up. Terror starts setting in and he can’t move.
“Just be natural, like you’re having a regular conversation.” The assistant (whose name is Amy) says.
Harry doesn’t reply because someone is handing her his cue cards.
“I thought I could, like, say what I wanted?” Harry asks, motioning towards the cards.
“We just want things to go without a hitch.” Amy replies. This wasn’t what Harry wanted and his arms are getting all tingly. Isn’t this the sign of a heart attack? “-they’re just standard answers, don’t worry.”
Harry takes the cards and flips through them, realizing they’re all quotes from the first interview he’d done. He loved the song! He love, love, loved all the attention!
“Can I go to the bathroom?” He says abruptly, feeling like he might throw up.
“It’s six minutes to air.”
“It’ll be quick.”
Harry spins on his heel and walks away before she can answer.
As Harry’s wandering through the hallways, he hears voices coming from down the hallway.
“-so fucking happy when this is over!” A woman says.
“I know! We weren’t prepared for this.”
Of course, Harry has to hide behind a wall and eavesdrop.
“Y’know the only reason we signed them was because someone was a cousin or whatever of their manager?”
“I know. They don’t have the talent to get signed on their own. You don’t even want to know how long it took to train them.”
“They keep asking when they’ll be able to record an album and I’m like, ‘You’re lucky you got a song! Take your money and run!’”
Both women giggle. Harry wants to jump out and say something, but he’s frozen to the spot.
“Whatever. They’ll be a one-hit wonder. Have a story to tell their grandkids.”
They walk past the corner Harry’s hiding in without noticing him and he knows what he’s going to say.
Walking on stage to the blinding lights and the roar of the audience is something Harry will never forget. (Along with meeting Louis and kissing Niall.) He spots Zayn first and meets him halfway for a hug. Harry whispers “I missed you” into his ear while the interviewer, David, shouts “You saw it here first! The make up of Zayn and Harry!”
They break apart and David jumps right in. “So Harry, how did you feel about the song the first time you heard it?”
Out of the corner of his eye, Amy is pointing at the cue cards.
Now or never Harry.
“I hated it. I wanted to jump on stage and strangle Zayn.”
David is taken aback. “Strangle, how funny. So, you also dated Ed Sheeran-”
“Oh, Ed’s a liar.” Harry puts the mic right in front of his mouth to make sure everyone gets this. The crowd is murmuring and Amy is shaking the cards so hard she might fall over. “I kissed him outside the venue while his manager made a video. Isn’t that a horrible thing to do?”
Zayn’s trying not to laugh and Harry takes that as his incentive to continue. “Maybe his album wasn’t selling or something. Come on Dave! Keep the questions coming, I’m having a good time!”
The crowd is cheering without any prompting and Anne is covering her mouth off stage.
“Alright!” David laughs, looking panicked at the camera. “Have you two talked since the song came out?”
Zayn jumps in. “No, we’ve been on tour and haven’t been home-”
“And you changed your phone number.” Harry interrupts.
“So you tried to call him? Was it recently?” David is desperate for a scoop and it’s pretty sad.
“No it was months ago.”
Compared to everyone else in the room, Harry is as cool as a cucumber.
“Were you jealous of Zayn at all?”
“Look, here’s what happened. Zayn and I dated, broke up and then he wrote a song about me and it got successful. That’s it. And if I have fans or whatever, I hope it’s because they see me as someone like them, who’s just trying to survive school, not some type of hero or whatever. I’m just a boy who broke up with his boyfriend, and that’s it.”
“Speaking of breaking up, we heard some rumors about you breaking up with your latest boyfriend. 3 boys in 6 months, would you care to shed some light?” Harry can hear the underlying That’s what you get for fucking up my interview.
“I don’t know what we are now, to be honest. Before I left,” Harry looks right into the camera and hopes by some miracle that Niall and Louis hear this, “I picked fights with two people who really mean a lot to me. Everything was changing around me and I tried to stay the same, which only made things worse and that’s my biggest fault. My best mate and boyfriend are really amazing and I hurt them a lot. Louis, I hate when you’re right and I especially hate admitting it, but here I am on national television saying you were right and I was wrong, I really screwed up. And Niall…”
He takes a shuddering breath and starts again. “Niall, you were right too. I was playing into all of this, but I’m done now. And I’m sorry, I really am. I’m coming home and I’m going to fix everything.”
Someone offstage yells “Fifteen seconds until commercial!”
“This band is really good,” Harry rushes out. “and from what I heard earlier, their record label wants to screw them over, so if you really love them, do whatever you can to fix that!”
Anne is crying while everyone on stage is standing there open mouthed. Harry walks over to Zayn and hugs him one last time. “It’s a really good song, Zayn. And I’m really, really proud of you.”
And then he walks out of the spotlight for good.
Of course, it wasn’t totally for good because there were hundreds of people waiting for them once they arrived in London again. Anne pulled him off stage and to the airport, exchanging their tickets for the first ones back to the UK. They need airport security to get to the baggage claim, where Harry spots Robin talking to a security guard and a mess of red from Louis’ pants and Niall’s sweatshirt. He breaks away and runs towards them, jumping on top of Niall and crying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m a shitty boyfriend, I’m sorry” into his neck.
“Shut up, Harry!” Niall says, pulling Harry off him. “How am I supposed to kiss you if you’re crying?”
Of course he stops crying enough to kiss him.
When he turns to Louis, a tiny tear slips down his cheek and Harry is so surprised because Louis never, ever cries.
“Am I making you cry?” He asks, teasing.
“Shut up and come here.” Louis snaps, hugging him tight.
Everything is kind of ok after that. Zayn gets a new boyfriend and after 2 weeks, Harry’s pushed to a small corner of the magazines and after a month, he’s not even in them at all. Niall quits his job at the Scooper Dooper and opts for the record store where they went on their first date.
“You’re a nobody now, Harry.” Niall says, turning up the radio as the store opens.
“I guess so.” Harry whispers, leaning over the counter to kiss him as The Beatles play through the speakers.
O-bla-di o-bla-da life goes on, yeah, lalala life goes on.